Probability

I've had some major school work to do these past few days. While I'm loving going back to school, I'm more than ready for this stupid statistics class to be done. I have a really hard time with math and this is turning out to be harder than I thought. I hate word problems and that's pretty much all it is. I'll take a nice easy formula/equation any day over this crap!
(Probability sucks. I don't know the probability of who is shirtless and is also male and is also at least 6ft and handsome. And will come bring me drinks. Probably not very good.)


I'm back on Metformin (or Fortamet, since I take the time-released version). I realized that I gained an ass-ton of weight in the last 2 months. I'm back in all my fat clothes. *sigh* But now that I've realized it, I'm making changes to help the situation. I called my OB clinic this morning and they are calling the Rx in for me. Should be ready later this afternoon. But I still had some left over from last year, so I started back this morning taking one pill a day. Within the next week I hope to be back to 1500mg/day. (3 pills.) Tomorrow I'm going to join a gym I found. It's $20/month and has child care. (You do pay an hourly charge for child care that's not included.) It's a pretty small gym, but frankly I don't need much. I'm mostly just using it for the treadmill and baby watchers.
My goal is an hour on the treadmill 5x a week. I'd like to build up to 4 miles a day. (That's what I was walking at my super skinniest time in high school. The last time I was truly very thin. I think I barely weighed 110lbs, soaking wet. But according to most indexes, that's what I should weigh with my height. Now I'm smart enough to know that I'll probably never weigh that again. Hopefully I'll get back down to 120/125 though- which I know will take time.) Sadly I wasn't so far off from that right after having twins. Which is just so depressing. I'm mean, that's supposed to be the worst time. But that was my thinnest in the last 8 years or so.


Anyway. Enough of that.


In baby news (because you know I can't go an entry without them!) we dropped a bottle! Yay! We're down to three a day.
And of course, since I'm me, I was really stressing over when and how to drop the fourth, "last" bottle. But Saturday they fought me on even taking the last two of the day. Then yesterday when they woke up from nap 2 I decided to just let them go. I gave them some puffs and Cheerios as a snack and gave them dinner a little early and then followed with the bottle about an hour before bed. So then they played a little while and had a bath and then off to bed. They did perfectly fine with it! And we've finally dropped the third nap. (Which had become more of a cat nap than anything else.)

Now I just need to work with the sippy cups over the next month or so and we'll be good to go. I really hope to have them weaned from the bottles soon after their birthday. But we'll see. So far with the things I've stressed over dropping, they've let me know when they were ready and just did it. Hopefully that will be case with the bottles.

Rea's pacifier will be our hardest battle, I think. But she will not be 2 and still have it. (Heck. She won't be 18 and still have it!) At least it's only in the bed or car now. She doesn't want them when she's just playing or even when we're out and about.


Okay, on that note, I'm off to relax and pack up the diaper bag. Kourtney and I are taking Daisy and Jake (and the kids) to the park and having a picnic later on.


Gina

Nine West They Are Not

Yikes.

We bought the kids their very first pair of shoes today.

(And okay, since people are freaking out about this...they've never had shoes before because when they were born it was cold and they lived in footed outfits/sleepers. Then it got hot. And they were barefoot. From every thing Dr. Bubba and all my books have said, barefoot is best, so I went with that. No. They have never worn shoes. I do not believe I've damaged them in any way. They still will not wear shoes in the house. I don't. I won't expect them to. Barefoot is not bad. K?!)


They are very cute. But I was not prepared for the expense. I got two $5 off coupons in the mail for Stride Rite. I knew that they were supposed to have great shoes for early walkers and babies. So off we (me and Kourtney) went. Well, actually first we went to Rack Room just in case they had decent baby shoes. I did have a hunch they might be cheaper. They did have some adorable walking Keds, but they didn't seem to fit the babies feet very well. The sales lady said we should go to Stride Rite and have them measured and all that. I mentioned the coupons, and she said I'd probably find something much better for them there. So then off we went.

I did some very dumb. Something I still can't believe I did. I didn't look at the price before we bought them. I know. Stupid. I was so shocked when she rang me up and the total was $90. For two pairs of shoes and some socks. (I had to buy socks since I forgot to pack some.)

But they were also some of the only shoes they had that actually fit the kids. Jay's really a 3 wide, but we got a 3.5 because he's foot is so wide we couldn't close the velcro on the 3 wide. Yeah. Short, very fat feet he has. Rea was good in the 3. She has room to grow too. But since she's not as close to walking as Jay the extra room won't bother her as much. (If at all.)


These are Jay's new shoes:

And these are Rea's new shoes:

They are both from the Natural Motion line which is supposed to mimic walking barefoot pretty well. We'll see.

I was really surprised. They didn't seem to be bothered in the least by their shoes. We kept them on as we left the store and then went to dinner. Jay seems to stand and cruise very well in them so far.


And, before I forget, Jay is now standing alone. As in not holding on to anything. But then when he gets excited and starts to bounce, he usually ends up on his butt.


That's all for now. I'm off to read in bed.


Gina

From 10 to 1

It's nearly 2am. I've been up working on some school work, but right now just the words standard deviation make my brain twitch. So I stopped.

I stole this from Moo but never did it. So I'm doing it now...


Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:
1. I wish you would get help. It's so hard for me to talk to you right now. I just come away aggravated and sad. I miss you in so many ways.
2. Sleeping is not a bad thing. One day you'll realize how amazing sleep is and I'll remind you of these days. Oh, yes I will. And I'll enjoy it.
3. I wish you could just move on already. He's just now decided to actually go through with the divorce. He's the last person you need to jump into a relationship with. Hanging on is only making things worse for you.
4. I'm sorry.
5. Things are not that bad. Remember that. You have the habit of being dramatic over the little things.
6. I think you are hilarious. Your stories have almost made me pee my pants.
7. Do you remember when you were a bush? *laughs* I remember you telling me that story. I still chuckle. The same about the comforter.
8. Thank you for my kids.
9. You have not changed at all. And I think that's a little sad. It's past time to grow up.
10. I love you. Always.

Nine Things About Myself:
1. I'm left handed when writing and eating. With most everything else I'm right handed. But I can bat either way.
2. I'm only 5ft.
3. I love the feel of damp hair on my back.
4. I love the smell of winter and my favorite winter day is a cold, rainy one.
5. I slept with one of John's shirts the entire time (or most of the time?) I was in the hospital last year. If I was having a bad day or was missing him a lot, I'd just lay there and sniff it.
6. I love to read.
7. I eat ice all the time. I love it. Sonic ice is the best. It's small and just perfect for eating.
8. I can't stand to sleep when facing someone. It's really the nose air that gets me. Ugh. It's just gross.
9. I daydream a lot.

Eight Ways to Win My Heart:
1. Embrace my insecurities.
2. Be aggressive. I can't stand wimps.
3. Let me see your inner bad-boy. I'm a sucker for those.
4. Hold my hand for no reason.
5. Let me hog the hot water when we shower together.
6. Remember the little things I do or say, and let me know you remember.
7. Tell me you love me.
8. Take the kids for a day.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind A Lot:
1. What school work is due and when?
2. When is nap time?
3. What do I need at the store?
4. I want to take a vacation.
5. Is Jay going to walk today?
6. I need a new book.
7. John

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:
1. Check on the kids and cover them up. Again.
2. Brush my hair.
3. Brush my teeth.
4. Take Daisy out.
5. Kiss John good-night.
6. Take off my pj shorts/pants. (Can't stand to sleep in anything but a shirt.)

Five People Who Mean A Lot:
1. John
2. Rea
3. Jay
4. Mom
5. Daddy

Four Things I'm Wearing Right Now:
1. PJ pants
2. t-shirt
3. underwear
4. .......

Three Songs That I Listen to Often (Currently):
1. Reckless- Papa Roach
2. Believe- Staind
3. The Day That Never Comes- Metallica

Two Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Be married to John for 50+ years.
2. Visit every state.

One Confession:
1. I can be a very judgemental person. I hate that about myself.


And now I'm going to snuggle up to John and go to bed.
And to quote Jimmy, "Math Suks."


Gina

Ideas

I'm not at home right now. And I'm on a laptop. (I'm sure this will be riddled with typos.)

I'm at Kourtney's while she and John are at this new tattoo shop that John and Kyle (of Amanda and Kyle) are getting tattoos this weekend. John needed to go get his sketch done. And he has to put his deposit down.


I'm sitting here thinking about how much I really love this house. They found an awesome rental. The location is amazing and it's very nice. I want to live here.
And since we're probably about to put our house on the market, I'm trying to figure a way that we could. It would mean living with Kourtney and Kristen which could be good or bad. Or good and bad. But seriously, the rent would be like $450/month. And it's so nice. I know it can't and won't happen, but really I love this house. It would be an awesome kid house too. Very easy to child-proof. Anyway. It's a nice idea.



He's in a relationship, eventhough he's listed as single. I sent him a message. Just a "Hey, how are you" kind of the thing.


The babies are actually napping right now in Kourtney's room. (Pack-n-play.) When Kourtney and John get back we're going to take the dogs and the kids to a park. It's so nice outside today.




Gina

What Might Have Been

I'm in such a weird mood right now. A question was asked recently and it's just made think of things I hadn't thought about in a long time.

I guess we all have our "What If" of "What Might Have Been" scenario. I just hadn't thought about mine in a very, very long time.


So these thoughts have been fluttering around in my head for days. And then last night I found Him on Myspace. He looks the same. The time has not changed him. His face is the same. His smile is the same.
He is listed as single, yet when I saw pictures of him with various different girls I couldn't help the stab of jealousy I felt. (And how crazy is that?) But the other part of me knows that's just one more thing that hasn't changed. Girls and women alike have always loved him.


My memories of us together have been flooding my mind. They are so faded now and that makes me so sad. I wish had more.


And then there are the What Might Have Been scenarios. What if it had been him? What would I be? Where would we be? Would we have lasted? Or was I right? Was I right to run when I did?



I know I'm where I'm supposed to be. I love my husband with all my heart, there's no doubt to that. But in our parallel universe, the one where I stayed, what happened? Would we have been as happy as we were then? Would he just have broken my heart instead of the other way around? Would we have stayed together? Gotten married? Had kids?


Does he ever think of me? Does he wonder? Does he think of what might have been?


Will I always wonder?



Gina

Cooper Young

Yesterday started out a bit rocky (see previous entry) but ended up really good.


Midtown is the 'artsy' area of the city and that's where Kourtney and Kristen live. Well, every year there's an arts festival in the area called the Cooper/Young Festival. There's a marathon one day and the next day they close all the streets and have vendors and food. We decided it'd be fun to go, so after their first nap I loaded the kids up and off we went.


They did get pretty fussy after about half an hour. It was nap time and they had to nap in the stroller which is always touch and go. I pulled the sun canopy down over them to shield them from light and their view. (If J can see anything remotely interesting, he will not sleep.) He cried and pitched a fit for a bit, but he finally fell asleep. We got some vendor food. (Funnel cake! And a gyro! I drew the line at fish-on-a-stick.) We walked around and I bought Rea the cutest effing tutu!!! Only $15 too. I'll take pictures.

I also scored on some homemade incense. 100 sticks for $5. Kourtney got a different scent and so now I have 50 sticks of one scent and 50 of the other.

We walked around a little longer and decided to walk back to their house. (They live right in the area where the festival was. There were tents and such set up right in front of their house.) The weather was great so we decided to put a blanket on the grass out front and let the babies play. They loved it too.

They smelled pot for the first time. (Thanks to the neighbors.)


They did much better than I thought they would. J did bleed from his mouth though. He was chewing on a burp rag (he loves chewing on cloth) and I looked down at it and it was slightly bloody. I can't feel any more teeth though. I don't know what's going on with that more kid's mouth.

Of course, I forgot my camera. I did get a video on my phone, so if I figure out how to get it off, I'll share it. (The sound is bad though because it was very windy.)


Gina

For Sale or Will Trade

Have I got a deal for you!

I've got two, slightly used, babies. They crawl! They babble! They hold their own bottle! They eat puffs! They love bananas! (Some restrictions apply.*)

If you place your order in the next 5 minutes, you can get both for a one time low price of $19.99*. That's over a $10,000 dollar value! All for just $19.99**.


BUT WAIT!!!!


Don't want to spend any money? That's fine! I've still got a deal for you! The first person to place their order can trade QUIET TIME*** for these two of kind babies. That's right! Quiet time.


Just call 1-800-MY-BABIES-ARE-DRIVING-ME CRAZY or log onto mybabiesaredrivingmecrazy.com now!


*Happiness of babies can not be guaranteed. No exchanges until babies are potty-trained and no longer teething. No exceptions. Not liable for amount of poop or vomit from babies.

**Price includes all toys and on-hand diapers. Price does not include Zoloft, Lexapro, or similar drugs.

***Babies should be several thousand miles away for proper Quiet Time. Quiet time should be a poop/vomit/teething free area.



--------------------------------------------------------------


Apparently J is getting a molar. Or twelve. He's miserable. I'm miserable.
And as if that weren't fun enough, The Drama Queen is getting her third tooth.


And I'd like to run away. Somewhere warm and tropical. With a tall, dark, well-muscled man for me to look at and to bring me drinks. There needs to be free-flowing alcohol.


That is all.


Gina

Baby Swap

It's almost 2am. I should be going to bed, but I'm not.


We had the twins' 9 month check-up today. They are both 27.5 inches and both around 19lbs. And, of course, practically perfect in every way! After the appointment we went to lunch at Chili's where the babies dazzled and delighted many. (Of course!) They ate puffs with gusto, they smiled, they cooed. They were little bitty angels.


Then we went to the outdoor mall. John's been looking for replacement sunglasses for a few months and wanted to go to Sunglass Hut. The babies napped on the way. And then returned to the sweet angels of the afternoon. They squealed with delights. Laughed at each other. Said, "Dada" to everyone who passed by.

After Sunglass Hut we stepped over to Barnes & Noble. I looked at a few board books for the kids. J started rubbing his eyes, so I knew we needed to skeedadle on out.

They napped on the way home and were once again happy, playful babies.


I don't know who did it, but I think someone swapped my babies! I don't remember a time when we spent almost all day out with numerous errands and stops and they stayed that happy! Seriously. I want to know who swapped them because I don't want them to come back with the demon babies!


It's been a really good day. After the kids went to bed John and I watched a movie together. We bought an On Demand movie so we didn't even have to go out for it. (We ordered 21 by the way. We loved it. I love Kevin Spacey.) It was fun to lay next to him on the couch and snuggle and just enjoy the time together. Sometimes I think we forget to do that now.

For now I think I should go to bed. There is something more than a snuggle on my mind!



Gina

Seriously? 9 Months?!

My babies are 9 months old today. WTF?! Wasn't I just pregnant?

Jeez. It just seems crazy that I need to start planning the blow-out first birthday party soon. (Because I procrastinate, so I really should have started 'planning' 6 months ago...) And when I say 'Blow Out' party I mean we'll probably hang streamers or something.

And in a moment of non-mommy panic, I let my now 9 month old babies eat a Gerber puff without breaking it into a thousand little pieces first! Woot! Go me! (Yes. I've been crushing puffs into small balls of crumbs and then placing it in their mouth. Because, you know, I'm not really crazy or anything.)


Today Rea sat and giggled to herself for at least 10 minutes. She had a little bear and they were having quite the conversation. And it hit me. One day she'll cry for real. Not because she bumped her head or doesn't want to take a nap. She'll cry because someone hurts her. And I came to the conclusion that I'll just have to kill that person. She's my happy princess. I never want her to not be happy.


Tomorrow is Kourtney's birthday so I invited her and Kristen over for dinner. Kourtney couldn't think of what she wanted me to make her so I decided on a balsamic roasted pork tenderloin, garlic green beans, and roasted garlic mashed potatoes. I then made fudge brownies for dessert. (With ice cream, of course.) It was all very good, if I do say so myself.
I love pork tenderloin because you can pretend to be the fancy cook, but really it's just rubbing in some spices and whatnot and throwing it in the oven for 30 minutes. (And all I added to the potatoes was butter and a can of roasted garlic cream of mushroom soup. Very yummy.)


I still need to post pictures of my new tattoo don't I? I'll try to remember and do that tomorrow.

Alrighty then. I'm off to go veg and sneak another brownie.

Gina

Reading Again

Well, after a week of being buried in books of some sort, I'm joining the real world again. I was doing really good with my school books and trying to stay ahead with my reading, but then I got sucked into the Twilight Saga. I read all four books in about 4.5 days. I haven't done that in a very long time. (But it was fun! And the books were really good.)


The kids are napping right now and I'm just catching up here and my twin site. I feel like I've been under a rock for a long time!

I've also sort of gotten sucked into some of the politics going on. I haven't watched many of the speeches, but have been somewhat keeping up. During much of the primaries, I was very confused and leaning towards not voting at all because I really didn't like my choices. I'm still not 100% thrilled with either side, but am getting more excited and leaning heavily towards Obama right now. (I really don't like Palin. Or I should say, what I've read, I don't like where she stands on a lot of issues.) I just can't say I see myself voting conservative for a very long time. On a shallow note- are they handing out free cowboy hats at the RNC?! Seriously.


Those books were really good. They're young adult, so to me they were a very fast read too. I'm actually excited about the movie coming out in November. I hope the movie does the book justice. (But you know how those things go.)There was more I wanted to say but I can't think right now.

Gina

Duct Tape Anyone?

I knew it would happen. I knew it was part of this grand thing called motherhood. I just hoped it would be a little longer before it happened to me.

I put the kids down for the first nap and both went to sleep. I heard them start to chatter and play about an hour later, but I just left them upstairs since they were happy. (And I was hoping they'd fall back to sleep and nap a little longer!)

Well, John left for work and I went upstairs to get them. By this point they were starting to get a little louder. I walked in the room and turned the light on. As I got further in the room I smelled poop.

So I asked, "Who has a poopy diaper?" as I walked to open the blinds.

Then I saw her. And it.

My darling little girl, the one who screamed the first time I let them play in sand, was covered in poop. No, really, she was. It was all over her face, hands, feet, behind her ears for crying out loud. It was all over her sheets and the railing to crib. (After all she was laughing and having a grand time as she's learned to pull up on her knees and "dance.") It was all over her lovey. Oh, her diaper was still hanging on by one tab.


I just stood there for a full minute as both babies were just babbling to me. I honestly didn't know where to start. I finally got some of my senses back together and went downstairs and pulled the co-sleeper in the living room and put in a Baby Einstein DVD. Went back to get Jason and stuck in him the co-sleeper. I set up the tub in the sink (we're still doing the infant-tub-in-the-sink routine) and got some towels ready.

Went back upstairs and carefully removed the diaper (still had some poop left in it!) and threw that away.Now, some might judge, but I picked her under her arms and carried her just like that down the to tub. She might be happy to be covered in poop, but not me!I got her cleaned up and put her in the co-sleeper with her brother.

The sheets and blankets and her lovey are now in the washing machine (with Clorox for colors) on hot and an extra rinse. I still plan to wash them again with the rest of the dirty clothes when this cycle is done. I have no doubt they were in this together.

They are conspiring against their mommy!
And I know I washed her twice, but I swear one of her ears still smells like poop.

Gina

Gypsies

I need a drink.
Or ten.
(Or some Ben & Jerry's.)

It all started last night. I put the kids down and about an hour later Rea woke up fussing. She's had this one tooth that's really been bothering her and yesterday I could tell it was going to pop through at any time. So I went upstairs to get her so I could do Orajel.

Well, when I got upstairs I noticed that she had snot just running from her nose. And I could hear the congestion. So I used the snot sucker (technical term) and some saline drops.
Well, she hates that so after I had to cuddle and calm her down. Put her back upstairs and about thirty minutes later, more fussing and crying. So that time I did use the Orajel and threw some Tylenol in too. Put her back upstairs.

That time she was quiet for almost 2 hours. At that point we set the co-sleeper up in our room and elevated the mattress. But we were up and down with her all freakin' night.

And then today they did not nap well at all. I think there was a combined total of about 45 minutes of napping all day. It's been miserable. J hates to share me. If Rea crawls in my lap, then J has to come on over too. It's really frustrating. And I've spent most of the day chasing Rea with the snot sucker. Poor thing even had a snot bubble startle her it was so big.

Right now they've been down for about 45 minutes. I ended up setting one of the swings back up for Rea to sleep in tonight. I figure that the best way to keep her elevated and I thought the swing might soothe a little too. I don't know. I grasping for straws now.


If I don't sleep tonight, I'm afraid I just may have to sell her to the gypsies tomorrow.


Gina

First Times

Well, today we took J to the doctor for something other than a well baby visit. We had our first maybe-one-of-our-kids-is-sick-visit.

He's just been acting a little off the past few days. Very cranky and spitting up a little more than normal. And he's been laying his head down and tugging on his ears. Well, my mommy brain knows that usually signifies one of two things- ear infection or teething.

So I called our nurses line and got him in for this afternoon. The nurse said to go ahead and get him just in case it was an infection.

So we did. And he's good to go! No ear infection.

They weighed him and he was 17something. (I didn't catch it because I was playing with Reagan and John doesn't remember.) Rea (they weighed her too just because) was right around 18lbs. I just hope they didn't catch anything by going to the doctor. I've never had to wait in a waiting room with other kids in there before. We didn't go to our normal peds office. Dr. Bubba didn't have any openings today or tomorrow, so we went to another office with another doctor in the practice. But I really liked her too (I've liked all the ones I've met) and liked the nurse. They go for their 9 month well baby in a few weeks so we'll have weights again soon. Yay. I liked getting them weighed.

I went to the main campus of the CC to get a textbook I needed and my satellite campus didn't have. It rained the entire way there. Blarg.But I logged online last night and all my classes are finally showing up.

I have my first assignment in statistics already. The first lesson is to introduce ourselves and form groups. I didn't want to be the first to go, especially since online classes don't even start until next week, so I haven't done that yet. I'll probably go ahead and do it tonight or tomorrow though. (I have read the first chapter.)

I'm really getting excited about school. I'm nervous about statistics though. I'm not very good at math and I'm second-guessing if I should be doing this online. I think I'll get through though. They do have a math lab on campus I can go to for help and John's already said he'd read the book along with me to help.

Have I mentioned that I'm excited? I am. (YAY!)

G'night.
Gina

I'll Eat You

No. Really.


I'm PMSing something crazy. I've done nothing but eat today. M&Ms and potato chips. Pickles. Pop-tarts. I feel like a whale and no wonder with this massive you're-about-to-bleed-for-days appetite!


The babies are not napping right now. I went up a minute ago and put both back on their tummies, covered them up and walked out.

Well, I might as well have stabbed Jason in the eye. He's screaming like some demon child.


I know I'm not hungry. But I really want some more M&Ms. This must stop!

Tomorrow Comcast is coming to install our new cable phone line and internet. AT&T can bite my ass. Well, at least for those two things. I'll save almost $60/month by switching. We'll still have our cell phones through them though. Until March or April. I'll shop around and see where we'll get the best deal then. (And stay with them if they really are cheapest.)

I'm so ready for John to be off tomorrow. I want to crawl in a hole and stay for a few hours. (With a lot of food.)


Gina

New Category

It feel really nice outside right now. I'd love to believe that fall is just around the corner and we'll have decent weather for a little while. But I'm sure it'll go back up to 90s again any day now.

The kids. They are getting so big. I got sad because I was looking at clothes online and realized that they aren't in the Newborn 0-9 month category anymore. They are in the Infant/Toddle 12m-24m category. What happened to my very teeny tiny babies?(Actually they are wearing 6-9mth right now, but I won't get to buy in the newborn category anymore.)

Jason is such my boy. I love him so. He's everywhere. And he loves for me to come after him. He'll crawl away, stop, turn and look at me. Then he laughs and crawls faster. I'm really in for it when he learns to run. Last night I said to him, "Mommy's still faster!" But I wonder for how much longer! He's trying very hard to figure out how to stand up without holding on to something. And all those raspberries on his belly (that send him into a fit of giggles) as paid off. He now blows them on my arm.
When he gets tired, he'll come crawl in my lap for a minute. Then he'll put his head down. Just for a second, for a quick cuddle. It melts me. His laugh is unbelievable.


And then there's my Reagan. My little princess. Her eyes make me want to squish her all the time. I love her to pieces. She's so happy. I hope every day that she stays that happy forever. She laughs at Daisy. She thinks that dog is the most hilarious thing ever. (And she doesn't even have to be doing anything!) She finally crawling on her hands and knees. And she can pull up to her knees, but then she gets so mad because she can't do anything after that- get up further or get down. She's a tiny little drama queen. And loves to bounce. If I hold her standing in my lap she throws herself back. She loves that. She also loves to be thrown in the air. And hung upside down. And twirled around. She's my daredevil. And she loves to be kissed on her neck. (Help us in 15 years.) That's what sends her in to giggles.


And me. I'm so excited about school. I logged into the Blackboard site. (Where I'll take my online classes.) We don't start for another week, so there's really nothing there. I just wanted to log in. I feel like a kid who wants to play with all the school supplies right before school starts. And I am going to have to dissect a cat. Ugh. That's going to be hard. But I trudge through. The sheep brain won't bother me. (I did that in high school.) But I'm such a cat lover that doing that one will be hard. And I think we'll be doing it for a few weeks. Learning layer by layer as we cut and go through.


I better go. It's almost time to get the kids up. And I need one more cup of coffee.

Gina

Twig-Tails

Tomorrow I have to wake up bright and early to go register for my classes. I got the email from Admissions Guy today that confirmed that they got the electronic file for my official transcripts.

Tomorrow I go sign up for my two classes and probably get books. (And pay them some money. I'm sure they won't let me forget that part!) And then classes start next week.

Am I really doing this?
Yep.
(I'm getting very excited.)

Yesterday I decided to go on strike. I left John with the babies when they woke up from their first nap. But I couldn't find a decent (used) bookstore so I ended up at Target. I found a small selection of Baby Legs there. I've had a few faves mention and love Baby Legs, and J's knees are all kinds of red, so I bought a pair for each baby. They wore them today and I love them. J's knees were barely even pink tonight when he went to bed. Yay! I'm going to look on Ebay for some good deals on them too. I think they'll be very handy come winter.

I also bought Rea her first set of bows. She has just enough hair to make a twig- tail (it really looks like a twig sticking up) but I think it's cute anyway. Poor thing. I thought I'd have her hair in a ponytail by the time she was six months old, but it's growing so slow now! (But at least she has hair. J barely has more than peach fuzz.)


I had one of those moments today where I just could not believe that they are my children. I wanted to squish them. So I did!

I look at them and know that while I'm putting us in the hole (almost) right now, when I'm done we'll be able to do so much more. I don't care about them having the best and most toys (they won't) but I've always said I want my kids to be well traveled. When I'm done with school we'll be able to go on those travels. That excites me.


Gina

Doing It

So in some ways I'm about to make the biggest financial risk of my life.
I'm going back to school.

I have to go to the community college tomorrow and get admitted for this semester. Open registration is Thrusday. I'm going to try and take A&P 1 and Statistics online and then only have to go in for the A&P 1 lab. And I hope to schedule that on a day before John goes to work. That way we can get out of having a sitter this semester. I hope to do the same thing next semester.


Then the actual masters/nursing program starts in July. It's 4 semesters (20 week semesters) and I'll be done. Should graduate in May/June of 2011.

I'm excited and very nervous. I promised John and the babies that I would do my absolute best and not give up. I know it's going to be hard, but I also know it'll be worth it. I'm planning on getting the kids in day care next summer when the program starts. Most of the classes will be online, but I'll have tons of hours to do in clinicals, so I think it'll be best to have them in something. I'm looking for at least a 'Mommy's Day Out' program, but will probably need more than just that. (Clinicals will mostly be Mon-Friday.)

I'm really excited about this. I feel better about myself. Much better than I have in a very long time. Babies are not napping. Must go tend to the screaming demons...


Gina

I Need Advice

Okay.
So here's the deal.I can't find a job.

My qualifications suck because I wasn't at the casino long enough. (Only a year.) That means I only just very barely qualify for the salary I'd need to cover working expenses and child care. If I were ever even offered a job in the first place....(Of course, I could probably get an entry level job, but those only pay $9-10/hour and that won't work.)

I've been really down in the dumps about it lately and trying to figure out all my options. While doing research on a few ideas, I came across a program. It's a master's in nursing for people who already have an undergraduate degree in something else. It's 22 months long and I'd be able to take the RN exam after the first 16 months.

At first it sounds really great. But there's a catch.

I need to go back to work because we need money. If I go back to school now, we'd likely completely deplete our nest egg or come very close to it anyway. But I'd be making almost (if not) double what I can make now. There's also the issue of the condo. Once we do actually sale the damn thing we'll net between 90-100k.

Now we do have some debt to pay off, but we'd be able to put most back into the nest egg.And, as John pointed out, if I were making that kind of money, we'd have money to put back in every month, plus a little slush.

I'm just scared to do it. We've always been of the mind that we do not touch that money. (Well. Okay. We've been that way since we blew over half in college and right after.)


I need advice. What would you do?


Gina

A Little More

And another one!
(This will be the last time I comment on it!)


So, a little background real fast:Kyra (of Chuck & Kyra) has been having blood pressure issues since the beginning of the year. At first they thought it might be her birth control pills, and since it was very high, she had to stop taking them. Well, then she moved and the blood pressure investigating just got pushed aside, but she knew it was still high. At one point when we were visiting in July it was 230/112. I wanted her to go to the ER, but she decided to lay down to see if that helped first. Well, it did help a little. Anyway, the day after we left she did end up going to the ER because it went super high again. They kept her for 3 or 4 days running all sorts of tests. What they found was a cyst on one of her ovaries. They didn't think that was the cause, but knew they had to get it out. (It was softball-sized.) They never really determined what the cause of the HBP was. Fast-forward to yesterday.She had the surgery to remove what they thought was just a cyst. Turns out it was a solid mass and as been sent to pathology to determine what it is/was. Today her blood pressure was 110/65. No blood pressure meds to help with that either. Apparently the mass was sitting on or partially sitting on an artery or something.

The bad news, and the point of the background, is she lost an ovary and tube. I just hope the other ovary is super fertile so there's no problems for them later on. And I hope the mass is nothing serious.

John is having a Boy's Day Out with Kyle. (Of Kyle and Amanda) I think they were going to Hooter's for lunch and then a tattoo shop. Past that I have no idea what they are doing. I would imagine it would involve at least a small amount of alcohol.

Oh and I came out of the religious closet!!! Yay me!!I'm Agnostic. There are, apparently, a few people praying for me and John. *rolls eyes* Well, and the kids. How could an Atheist and Agnostic possibly raise decent, well-behaved children?!It's been really amazing to me to join a group of twin moms who share many of the same views I do. (I discovered a great little forum on my twin site.)


I had the best burrito for lunch. From this new place in town called Qdoba. Mmm. So very yummy. And since it has beans- I deem it healthy!! (Shh...we won't speak of the sour cream or queso sauce...)

Another happy thing- I've found more re-runs of TNG. On Monday nights Sci-Fi plays, I think, 3 hours of TNG. Love it. I actually saw a two-part episode the other night I'd never seen before. I've also taken to watching Voyager on Spike in the afternoons. It's funny to me because I really don't enjoy sci-fi, but I love TNG and Voyager. (I am not a fan of the original series or Deep Space Nine. And have not seen Enterprise to know how I feel about it.)

I hear children starting to wake up from their naps, that's my cue to head upstairs....

Gina

Two in a Row

Look at me posting two days in a row!!

I'm trying so hard to get back to writing. I know it'll help straighten out some of these thoughts swirling in my head, but for some reason I just look at the white screen for 5 minutes and then close it. I will not do that today.

I haven't applied for any jobs in the past 3 days. I also haven't been offered any jobs in the last 3 months. I'd like to believe that the right thing will come along and it'll all work out.

Hmmm. We'll see. Nothing to note really. Both kids are upstairs not sleeping right now. I'm tempted to put them to bed early (by and hour and a half) if they don't nap anymore. They get 30 more minutes to try before I go up there. Rea just does not want to sleep right now. Her mind is too busy grasping at all these milestones I guess. It's frustrating. I need nap time just as much as they do. I'll probably resort to using Baby Einstein later just to keep them from melting down.

I am so ready for cooler weather to get here. I'm ready for blue jeans and long sleeve shirts. And hot chocolate. Which reminds me, I've been drinking coffee the past several mornings. I used to not be a coffee drinker, but then I started wanting some. John and I get up an hour before the kids and each have a cup or two of coffee and enjoy the peace and quiet. It's nice.


Kyra (of Chuck and Kyra) had surgery today. She had a massive cyst on one of her ovaries and they had to remove it. That was supposed to happen around 1pm. Haven't heard from Chuck, so I'm assuming everything went well.

(Rea is still up.)

I guess I should at least go check the job boards...

Gina


Edited -Definitely having an early bed time tonight. Kids haven't slept since around 5pm and normal bed time isn't until 10pm.Kids are currently playing in their highchairs. I gave up on feeding them when smearing the green beans on each other was more fun that actually eating the green beans. Don't feel like the clean up right now, so in the high chairs they are staying for at least another minute. Maybe two.Carry on...

Slow

I have just not felt like writing at all lately. I don't know why.

Things are good here. Rea finally had her first tooth come through. It's on the bottom. Her teeth just come in so much slower than J's. And she can be fussy about it. Not all the time though so it's not too bad.

J pulls up on everything now. But he's still a little too freaked out to cruise very much. He'll pretty much only come to a person. He won't go from the couch to the table or anything like that. He did make it up the stairs with John's help the other day. It took about 5 minutes, but he laughed the entire time. (A gate will be there now.)

The computer is being crazy slow right now. Driving me nuts. I hope it isn't about to die.

I'm still on the job hunt. I don't think I'll ever find a job. I think that's part of why I haven't been writing. I tend to withdraw when I'm super stressed and/or worried.

The condo is on the market. Not one little nibble yet. Driving me nuts.

The slow computer is driving me nuts. Going to bed now.

Gina

Rotten

I've been in a really rotten mood for the past two days.

I'm stressed. I'm frustrated. I'm aggravated.

I'm just plain tired and pissed.

I've been looking forward to this weekend (10 year reunion) for months now. Actually close to a year. And now I'm just frustrated that I don't even want to bother going.(Even though I bought a new dress that shows off my new tattoo and makes me look skinner than I am. And 'on sale' this dress was $70. Remember I'm cheap.)

I don't even know what I want to say. I'm just having a rough few days. Nothing is working in cheering me up. Except maybe the kids. When they're being cute and not demon-like.


This has no point. I'm pissy. That's all.

Gina

Scabbed Over

I think I forgot to mention the new tattoo in my last entry....

Well, while back home, I went to my favorite shop and got a new tattoo. I'll take pictures and post when it's done healing. Right now it's scabbed over and itching like mad. I keep putting lotion on it because it feels so good to rub it.


And I think this will be the last one for a long time. May be the last one period. (Besides, six is a good round number to have.)

I have cute pictures of Rea I should post. But the project today is going through their closet (didn't I just do that?!) and clean out most of their 3-6 month clothes. I got most (maybe even all) of their 6-9 month stash washed and ready to hang up. It's just finding the minute to do it while chasing them around!

J is so cute. He follows me everywhere now. If I leave the living room to go make bottles, after a minute I'll hear the little slap of his hands as he's crawling to me. He is definitely a happier baby now that he can get to where he wants to be. We thought that would be the case. We were right. He's so independent with some things and so clingy at the same time. They sit on the bottoms and play now. I think that's so adorable. And they play together. They laugh at each other and babble to each other. I love it.

For now I should get to the closet....

Gina

iPhone vs iPod

Okay, so a few asked why I'd want both. Well, I knew the iPhone would hold songs, but I didn't think it was that many. The iPod I have now holds (I think) 7000 songs. Can the iPhone hold that many? If that were the case, then I'd only get one. If I choose between the two, I'd go with the iPod? I don't use a cell all that much. But then if does hold the same amount of songs, why not get a two for one, right? I'm usually not tech-dumb. That's John's department. I've just way out of the loop since the hospital stay and kids.

This is the Trojan thing. Haven't used it, just read about it. Sounds interesting!


The kids are doing great. Seriously, I have no idea why I've been so afraid to break them out of their routine. They seem to be adjusting just fine. It was so stinkin' cute this morning. They woke up around 10:30am and since they aren't used to sleeping together anymore, I could almost hear J's thought process. It went something like this: "Hey! There's my Silly! What's she doing here? Ooooohh! She has a paci! I want it." At this time he crawled across the little baby barrier I'd tried to put between them and yanked her paci out of the mouth and then proceeded to 'talk' to her and laugh. She woke up, saw her brother. I imagine she thought/said to him, "Hey! It's my Froggie! Yay!!"They then babbled and played together until I finally 'got them up' at 11am. Silly kids.

It's so amazing to see them interacting now though. I love it! They smile, coo, laugh, and talk to each other all the time now. I love those stinkin' kids. (And J really does stink. He pooped himself, but is sleeping, so he won't get changed until they wake from their nap.)


Off to DVR more things just because I can!!! (And I'm not going back to see about typos. Sorry.)

Gina

Overnighters

The house got too hot for us today so the babies and I drove down to my parents house.

I was a little weary of coming, mostly because I think my mom will drive me batty in the few days we'll be here, but John pointed out that I (and the babies) should spend as much time with her as possible. He said he doesn't want me to feel the guilt he does. He's right. I know that.

But she's still driving me apeshit.

The kids are doing great though. I've been very afraid to change their routine, but this is the second over night trip and they are sleeping beautifully in the co-sleeper. (I have it set up as a pack-n-play really. Or a play pin.)

It feels good to be in a house with AC.

So our rental manager guy spoke to our tenant and he (the tenant) agreed to month to month while we have the condo listed. Yay! Now our manager guy is going to list it. (Anyone want a GREAT condo in Metairie? One bedroom, one bath. Great for a single person or young couple!)

The casino lady never called me back. But I know that's a good thing because I really didn't want the job. Especially after they demonstrated their level of professionalism. Boo on the them though.

My parents have DVR. I love it. I've been here for 8 hours (roughly) and have recorded 3 hours of tv for me to catch up on tomorrow. I drool over the DVR. (And parents don't even use it. They always forget they have it and I remind them. How sad.)When (if) the condo sells, I'm getting an iPhone and the new iPod. John will get my current iPod.


I really have nowhere to go with this. I think I'll go eat some cookies and watch tv.
They don't have the spell checker I like. Oh well. Happy reading! Ha!


Gina

Playing Catch Up

It's been a few days since I've updated.
I last stopped at my broken toe. (Still hurts a little, btw.)

Thursday
Nothing much happened on Thursday. Karla (casino lady that I was waiting on to call me back) finally called around 11am that morning. She scheduled a second interview for Friday morning. I hobbled around on my pitiful toe and complained about it.


Friday
I had to be at the second interview at 11:30am so I left here around 10:30, but before the kids woke up. I'd gone back and forth on what shoes I was going to wear. None of my dress shoes would comfortably fit a broken toe and I gave serious consideration to wearing flip flops to the interview and just explaining the situation. (I was pretty pissed at these folks anyway.) But my professionalism won out and I squeezed my pitiful broken toe in my cute pointy heels. I wore the flops while driving and figured that I'd just park close the elevators and there would be little walking involved and that the interview would be rather quick.
Yeah right.
Well, first I was kept waiting for a long time. (I hate this. I know shit happens, but I think that's my biggest pet peeve during any interview process.)
Karla finally comes to meet me and then we walk up to the director's office. Where we wait some more. (At least 30 minutes.) We mostly chit chat about this and that. We talk a little about my previous experience and whatnot and then there's a lot of dead silence. (Fun.)
The director finally comes in. She asks me two questions and that's it. And the last question she argued with me over my answer. It had to do with customer service and the Mobil star ratings and standards for the different stars. I worked at 3 star property while the company was going for the forth star. I know what they are and I know the process. Was it bad that I stood my ground? Probably. But I knew what I was talking about and was so aggravated with the entire situation that I really didn't care if it made her look like a dumb ass. Karla says they will call this week. (It's Wednesday night and no call. Surprising? No. Do I think I got it even after I was told I was the lead candidate? No. Do I care? No. Mostly.)
Came home and my mom and dad were here and visiting. That was fun.
We went to eat at Cracker Barrel and it was so yummy!


Saturday
A friend of mine from high school (we were best friends) Tabatha, was having her son's first birthday party and invited me. She hadn't seen the twins yet so even though it would mean a 2 hour drive, I decided at the last minute to go. I rush around and pack the kids up and off we go. They actually did amazing the entire time. I don't think there was any crying. (If there was, it was minimal.)
I get to her house (and didn't get lost!) and there's only one car in the driveway. I'm slightly confused my this. So I knock on the door and her dad answers. I ask where everyone is. He says, "Gina, the party is tomorrow."
*face palm*
Tabatha is throwing her grand opening party for Mary Kay. Lovely. Well, I stick around to at least her, her mother, and her sister get back. I was not going to just turn around and go back home. So I hung out with Bill (the dad) and her son and stepson for a little bit. The girls get home and everyone has a nice laugh at my goof. It's decided by her family mostly that I have to stay and just spend the night. So Tab and I go to Walmart and I get undies and a toothbrush and formula and we stay the night.
There is much catching up and conversation. I had a really good time. The babies did AMAZING. Tab got her pack-n-play out and they slept in there. They really did great.


Sunday
We all wake up (much earlier than normal for me and the babies) and get ready for the party. People come over and we all party. Noah (the birthday boy) eats cake and then plays with his new toys. I leave. I end up stopping three times in the first hour because I think there might be too much sun on the kids and am trying to get those stupid sunshades to stay up. I finally give up and cover them with light blankets.
Then I got pulled over.
For the first time EVER.
The state trooper was a major dick and was not nice in the very least. I'd never been pulled over and never had a ticket. I thought I gave him what he needed. Well, he didn't ask for my registration so he practically threw it back and barks out at me, "Well, I didn't ask for that!" Excuse the f* out of me dude. I'm just trying to be helpful!
Then I had a question about where to mail the payment to. He bit my head off again. Jackass. (I was going 81 in a 70. Bad yes. I've always been a speeder. I'm now befriending my cruise control.)


Monday
The babies and I spent the day relaxing and not doing a darn thing. We were all very tired.


Tuesday
John was off work. While the babies napped we did yard work. Our weed eater is too short for John so until we get a new one he wants me to weed eat. So I tried that. It sucks. I hate yard work to begin with, but this is like using a jackhammer or something. And apparently I suck at it because John said I missed a 20ft section of fence. Whatever. Didn't look that bad to me.


Wednesday (Today)
John was off again. We went to Babies R Us to price convertible car seats. My parents want to buy them for us (yay!) and wanted an amount. I thought it would be nice to have them for our trip to the coast in a few weeks (we decided on that) so hopefully they'll mail us a check in the next day or two and we can get those and get the kids used to them. They seem so much more comfy than the infant seats. Lots of padding. (If anyone's interested, we decided to go with the Evenflo Triumph. It's got a higher length/weight limit, but isn't $300. Not sure which Triumph yet, but one of the three.)
We had amazing sex.
Then we had dinner and just hung out.
John's now listening to music and I'm hanging out online.


So we decided to go to the coast and are leaving July 8. I'm so excited. I'm ready to see Chuck and see Biloxi. We're also going to New Orleans and spending an entire day and evening there. We need to go by the cemetery and get some letters fixed on Vic's (MIL) headstone thing. (Is it headstone in a mausoleum?) Some got washed away during the hurricane and we haven't fixed it yet.

There are two days left in the week. We'll see if Karla does call me back or not. At this point I almost hope I'm not home when she does. I don't know if I want to talk to her. (Especially if it's a Thanks-But-No-Thanks call.)Back to the job hunt.


Gina

This Little Piggy is Broken

Last night we decided to watch a movie.

In the process of sitting down and getting situated with our various movie junk food, I was walking back to the couch and kicked the coffee table leg straight on.

I am now 90% sure that my next to last toe is broken. It hurts like hell.

And today it's turned all sorts of lovely colors. The underneath part is black. The side more purple and the top a combination of blue, purple, and black. Lovely.

It hurts.

A lot.

I think when the kids wake up from their nap we're going to Walmart and I'll get some tape so I can at least tape it to the next toe. I may also call the nurses line for our insurance just to see if there's anything else I should do besides tape and ice.

Did I mention it hurts?!

Gina

If the Phone Doesn't Ring

Well, I'm officially pissed off.

Ya know the job that I was 'lead candidate' for? The one that was basically offered to me so long as I could figure out the childcare end of it? I had a week to do so. They called a week ago today. I called them yesterday with the answer that we were able to work the child care end of it out so I could accept the position. Well, she rushed off the phone and said she had to be in a meeting and would get out at 5pm (I called around 2pm) and she'd call me then. That was yesterday. I called her back at 10am this morning. Got her voicemail. Called her back at 4pm. Voicemail again.

I'm done.

I can not express how unprofessional this is. If they went ahead and filled the position then that's shitty on 2 levels. A- They gave me a week to see if I could work it out, so if they filled it they really screwed me over. B- They should have the balls to tell me they screwed me over.

I'm pissed because I've gone 'round and 'round with a few nannies. I paid for a subscription to a nanny site. And I'm just pissed. There's another assistant hotel manager job posted at another location, so I'm applying for that in just a bit. I'm so friggin aggravated.

And I think the thing that really burns my ass is that we'd planned to skip down the coast next week before I had to start work. I was going to get a tattoo and be 'home' and I couldn't wait to go. Now we aren't doing that. (Don't really need to spend the money until we know I have a job and what the money will be.)

---------------------------------------------


In other news....My little Frog man crawled today. Not fast and not for long, but he did make it halfway across the living room. (He was going after one of Daisy's toys.) He was so cute. He's still very uncoordinated with it, but he's getting there!

Daisy went to get groomed yesterday. I told them to go as short as they could all over because it's hot as balls here she doesn't do heat very well. They listened to me. Now she looks like a chihuahua. Seriously. I'll have to get pictures.

Now I'm going to see the moon.


Gina


Edit:It's now Thursday morning. She just called back around 11am. She wants me to come back for a second interview tomorrow morning. I'm questioning this again though. Like it was pointed out- do I really want to work for someone like this? I don't know. I guess we'll see. If they don't offer it to me (officially) tomorrow then I think I'm just moving on.

2 Strikes

We were supposed to interview our first potential nanny this afternoon. She called fifteen minutes before she was supposed to be here to say that she'd gone out of town this weekend and her flight was delayed. She then went on to say that we could reschedule for later in the week to meet and figure out when she'd start.

Um. No. I don't think so.

My first issue is that while I completely understand travel and plane delays, she only called fifteen minutes before our appointment. That's rude. (And personally, why would she schedule an interview on a travel day like that?!)

My second issue is how she's just assumed that she already had the job. I haven't even met her yet! Is she really that crazy?!
I don't think I'll be rescheduling that interview at all.

Another nanny candidate emailed me last night- in my response email asking when she'd be available this week for an interview- to say that her fiance's mother, who he hasn't seen or heard from in 17 years, suddenly called yesterday and they're going to see her for a few weeks and they were leaving this morning. Does that sound a little too much to anyone else?

So that brings us to our final candidate. She's out of town all this week. She told me up front about this trip, so I knew it. I just hope she doesn't flake out on me too. Now I'm in a very weird position of possibly accepting this job without knowing for sure that I'll find someone suitable for the kids. Yay.I've posted a few new ads on various nanny websites. Hopefully something will pan out.

(Meanwhile, I'm applying for more jobs...)

Gina

Ask Again Later

The great nanny search has begun.

I posted an ad on Craigslist and have had a few responses. I'm interviewing a girl (lady?) on Monday. I'm also emailing with a few others. Setting up times to met and whatnot. My fave so far is going out of town for a week so I won't get to met her until after I make the decision to go to work or not. And when I realize how much we'd be paying someone to basically watch the babies sleep, I think we're crazy.

So many mixed feelings.

I wish I had a crystal ball that would give me the answers. Too bad I lost that Magic 8 ball when I was ten. It might come in handy right about now.

In other news, today was rather busy in an un-busy way. We (me and the babes) went to Amanda and Kyle's to help Amanda put some wall stick things up in their guest bedroom. They are in the process of redoing a lot of paint and flooring in their house. We had a lot of fun and the babies enjoyed playing with Kyle once he was home from work. He took J outside and let J touch a lot of different things. J really loved that. (He was most fascinated with brick.) Rea was a little cranky at times, sudden outbursts of crying where only I could calm her. I think she's teething. (But I've been saying that for a long time now.) I gave her some Tylenol. Not sure if it helped or now.

Funny story-While there they napped in Amanda and Kyle's bed. So they went down for a nap and after an hour or so, we hear Rea crying. We go in and there's J, with this big shit-eating grin on his face, with Rea's paci. He had scooted over to her and stole her paci! What a rotten boy he is! We laughed about that all afternoon.


And I'm proud to say that tonight is night #3 of NO SWADDLES. I think I was way more worried about it than I should have been. They were ready. I just didn't realize how ready. Tonight was the first night with some fussing at bedtime. But within 10 minutes they were both sound asleep. (I consider that pretty damn good!)

Mom and Dad are coming to visit tomorrow. (And they are finally bringing Daisy home! I've missed my crazy dog!) Not sure what time. Better call them first thing in the morning. (But they know we don't wake the kids until 11, so it shouldn't be too early.) Sis is pregnant again. She took the test a few days ago. I hope things turn out better for her this time around. But I'm a little concerned with the timing of it and her starting at a new school. (I think she'll be due in Feb.) (She's a high school teacher.)

John just got home. Better run!

Gina

6 Months & A Quandary

The babies went for their 6 month well baby visit today. Here are the latest stats!


Rea- 16lb2oz and 25in
J- 15lb15oz and 26in


Wow! J is closing the weight gap back up but he's really grown a lot in length! He grew 1.5 inches in 2 months! Rea grew an inch too! (She was 24in at 4mths and J was 24.5 at 4mths.)
Dr. Bubba is very pleased with their growth. They continue to pretty hover around the 50th percentiles. Yay! He also said that we can start with the teething biscuits and in a month start with some diary. (Full fat yogurt and we they are eating better, cheese and such.) He said that we can start weaning to full fat milk around 11 months. (He said a lot of babies respond well when over the course of a few weeks or a month slowly changing the bottle from formula to milk.)

He gave me some ideas on clearing up Rea cradle cap. (Ugh. So gross! I got rid of J's with one treatment of the cradle cap stuff in the baby section, but it's not working on Rea!) He did say some scalps are just very stubborn and it takes a long time to clear up.

Rea had the most pitiful cry while getting her shots. So pitiful that me and nurse were like, "Aww..." She just looked at her daddy, poked her lip out and did this hiccupy sniffle cry. So pitiful. (But I'm sure it'll get her places later on with her dad!)


They did great overall.



-----------------------------------------------------


Now for my quandary.

I was offered the assistant front office manager position. (More or less. She called to see if there was any way I could work with the rotating schedule. She said I was the lead candidate.)

Now it's the question of if we can do this.

I would start out either on start grave shift (10pm-6am) or splits grave/swing (10pm-6am & 2pm-10pm). So that would mean we'd have to find a babysitter/nanny for the kids for at least a few hours between the time I had to leave for work (9pm) until John gets home (usually 1-2am) but that was flexible enough to stay much later if need be. Sometimes, if something big happens, John can't just leave work. (Last night for example. He got home around 8am this morning. Supposed to get off around midnight.) But they had a huge deal that he had to take care of and of course it happened right at the end of his shift.)

On the months I worked day shift it wouldn't be so bad. John and I would be passing each other and not really have time together, but we probably wouldn't need any childcare for those months.

But for the months I worked swing shift, we'd need a full time nanny/sitter.


The money isn't great, but it's better than nothing. (And things are getting really tight.) But I'd also be driving 30-45 minutes- one way- and spending that money on gas. Plus the expense of the nanny/sitter.

I ran a few numbers, some estimates obviously, and it looks like we'll clear about 900$ (give or take a 100$) a month after gas and childcare. On the months were we don't necessarily need a full time nanny/sitter, it would be more.


I really don't want to go back to work, but need to do what's best for my family. (And me in a way.) Having the assistant manager title can (and probably will) open up a lot of opportunities down the road. It would look great on my resume. (And the truth is we can't afford to be a one income family indefinitely.)

I would like to hold off on something 'better' but am scared to pass it up. (Let's face, the economy is in the toilet right now. If I can find another job at all it'll be amazing.)

I'd be back in the hotel business that I ultimately enjoy. (Even if it is in gaming.)

Ugh. The drive! I hate the drive! (And it's like 5 or 10 minutes longer than what I had to drive at the other casino. Blah on driving!)

But the hotel is also working towards a 4 star Mobil rating. Also a Good Thing for the resume. (And I have a little experience with 4 star standards.)



She said to research the sitter/nanny situation to see if it's feasible for me and to get back with her next week.


What to do?


Why can't there just be an easy solution?!



Gina

Play It Out?

It's raining like mad outside right now. But it sounds really peaceful.


My newest parenting dilemma (because apparently I can't write about anything else) is how do you CIO when they aren't crying?!
Do they cry for naps? No, not at all. They just sit up there and play. Yep. Rea plays with her hands and paci, talks to her hands and the ceiling fan, looks out the window. But does not sleep.
What's J doing? He's up on all fours rocking back and forth. (Still not quite crawling.) He's playing with the swaddle blanket that he's wormed out of. (I know.) He's playing with and talking to his puppy. But he's not sleeping.

Then nap time is over. And I get to bring two overtired, cranky babies downstairs.

The up side to this is that they were both asleep before I even read to them tonight.


Tomorrow is their 6 month check-up. I need to look-up and see what vacs they are getting. I don't remember. Maybe they'll sleep tomorrow? (One can hope.)


We are currently trying to work out a time line of when we can get down to the coast. I miss my Chuck. And John's uncle and aunt have never seen the babies, so we need to bring them over there. (His only living relatives. He lived with them for high school.) We were hoping to go at the end of the month, but it's looking more like July at this point.


Talked a little to Mom tonight. She's seemed to have a hard time saying a few words. I don't know if it was just her being tired and tongue-tied (happens to me sometimes) or if it's just her mind. No new developments on that. I hate thinking of it.


Well, this is short, but I think I'm going to veg on the couch with an old episode of Friends and eat a bowl of Lucky Charms.


Gina

6am *Edit

It's just after 6am. And I am awake.

Went to bed around 2am. Rea woke up at 4am crying- very unusual for her. Thought it was just a paci issue, but she kept crying. Think it was gas. But either way it woke J up. Who does not go back to sleep on his own. So they were fed, even though I'm 80% sure neither was hungry.

Couldn't go back to sleep. Still can't.


Rea woke up again just a bit ago. Gave her some gas drops and tried rocking her to sleep. My children can't be rocked to sleep. She'd start to drift back off and then her little eyes would pop right back open and just stare at me. I wasn't even making eye contact.

As soon as I laid her back down she was out.



Wish the same were true for myself.



Now it's light outside and I'll have an even harder time going back to sleep. Darn insomnia. Will try to read maybe.



Darn insomnia.


Edit:

It's now 7:30am. I'm still up.
Does anyone else see the irony in that the kids are finally sleeping much better at night (only waking once) but now I can't seem to sleep?!

I'm about to go get a McDonald's breakfast.


Gina

Too Early

It's 7am. I should still be asleep, but I woke up because of Rea and her paci and now can't go back to sleep. (That was an hour ago.)


There are pictures to post, but I'll do that later.


John's two days off this week were great. We got so much done, but still relaxed with each other and the kids. Perfect.


We tried the kids in the baby pool yesterday. (I sat in there with them and John helped from the side.) I thought they would love it because they both love playing in their bath. But they both seemed very unimpressed. Rea was more interested in the birds and trees. J just tried to eat my feet. (I didn't let him.) I think he's teething again because he's trying to chew on everything. And the drool is getting ridiculous. (For both.)


I'm tired but can't fall asleep. We didn't go to bed until a little after 2am. I need to sleep more.


And I ran into a bartender from the casino last night at an ice cream shop. I just remembered that I called her by the wrong name. Crap. Now I feel like an ass. Ugh. Maybe I can blame it on the baby brain?


We got ice cream last night. And now I remember why I don't like this particular place. I love chocolate ice cream with walnuts or pecans. The sign said they have walnuts, but apparently it's not actual walnuts (??) so I opted for pecans. Well the pecans they use are whole and very salted. It was gross. It really just tasted like salted ice cream. But I think it kicked that craving for a little while.


I'm going back to try this sleep thing again....


Gina

Take the Cake

just tried the most fabulous ice cream. Actually two of the fabulous of all ice creams..
Take the Cake from Edy's- yellow cake batter flavor ice cream with icing swirled in and sprinkles. YUM.
The other is from Blue Bell and is chocolate covered strawberries. Also very good.

I'm trying to be very good and not eat ice cream for dinner.
(So much for that craving being ruined...)



I still haven't uploaded pictures. So none of those yet.


I'm in a quandary about the work situation. I'll write out a different entry about it though as I need to gather my thoughts. (It involves going back to the casino I worked at and John still does.)


In other work news, I applied for various administrative jobs today. (8 to be exact.) And already one has turned out to bogus. (They cloak themselves very well these days.)


The kids are currently napping.
J is >< this close to crawling. As of right now he is able to creep small distances. But he's getting really frustrated with it. Earlier he was pushing with feet rather than his knees. We'll see. I can't believe he's this close to crawling already!
We have their 6 month appt with Dr. Bubba next Tuesday. For the first time I'm not going loaded with questions. I think I'm finally relaxing a bit and learning to go with the flow.


Ok. Well, I'm going to sample some more of that ice cream!


Gina

Fact and Fiction

I guess I've been avoiding this white space for a few days. I've been in a weird mood and wasn't sure if it was just me being me or what.
So many thoughts running through my head. And they don't always tie into each other so it can be hard to get it all out. I'll try tomorrow though.


I went out Friday night to see Sex & the City with Kourtney and her sister Kristen. It was a little weird because Kristen and I have only see each other once (very briefly) since we decided to have nothing to do with each other. I still have a hard time respecting her.

The movie was good. There was some things that disappointed me, but I figured that going into it. Overall- good.

The night out was nice. It was nice to go out and see a movie in a theater- especially with a packed house. That was a lot of fun.

But it was also a night out with Kourtney. I was left feeling distant. And I don't know if it's me being judgemental (it is a little) or if it's the same song and dance.

I texted Jayne (nurse keeping the twins) after the movie and she said all was fine and to stay out a little later. So we decided to have a drink. We were downtown and I knew we'd end up at one of the bars that Kourtney goes to all the time. She has a major crush (God- she's almost 30 for crying out loud) on this guy that runs 3 or 4 prominent restaurants and bars downtown. She goes to 2 of his bars almost every night after she's get off work. The thing with him is that he's married still. Granted he does not live with his wife and they have filed legal separation, but he is not divorced yet. Besides which, he's told her he's not ready to move on yet. But she hangs around him like a little lost puppy and I find that very sad. I think she could do so much better. But that's Kourtney.

We went to Hoops (bar) for drinks and all was fine. I only took a sip or two from my Martini since I knew I was driving soon. She and Kristen both finished their drinks and we'd decided to leave. I was ready to go get the kids. At this point it was after 10pm and I had to drive 30 minutes to get them and then almost an hour home. We were way off their schedule. Well, literally as I was getting up to leave, Crush walked in. Kourtney the lit another cigarette and ignored me (and Kristen- which was oh so much fun) until she finished that cigarette and realized I was checking the time every 10 seconds.
She says, "Well...I guess we should go." I could tell she really wanted to stay longer, but I said, "Yes. I have to get my kids." And started to leave. (My car was at her apartment- we rode downtown together.)

It irked me that she still pulls the same shit. If she's around a guy she likes, she turns into That Girl. You know the one. Changes the way she talks. Laughs/giggles too much. Flirts outrageously and obnoxiously. And ignores everyone in the room. Girls/women like that just really get under my skin.


And here's where I get more judgemental...
Kourtney had to go into work after the movie. But she had a drink before going to work. I don't know. That seems wrong to me. Irresponsible or something. I was raised that you don't do that sort of thing.
Another thing is Crush did 2 shots in the span of 5 minutes- while he was working.
How is this okay?! Just because one the restaurants you run (not own) has a bar upstairs, you get to drink on the clock? WTF?!

And she says she doesn't drink too much, that she only goes out for a drink or two. But she does it 3-5 times a week. To me that is a lot.

All night she compared herself to Carrie. I wanted to shout to her that Carrie is not real. Crush isn't going to suddenly come rushing to her side and proclaim his undying love for her. She lives in a fantasy and it annoys me.

And that's the root of it all...she lives in a fantasy. And I want her to wake up.


Crush did seem like a nice guy. But I'd also like to see Kourtney grow a pair and act like an adult- not a lovesick 13 year old girl.
She claims to be this aggressive go-getter, and maybe part of her is, but when men are around she just turns into an annoying wet-wipe.
(And she's read He's Just Not That Into You! And she's seen How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days!)


It's these times when I wonder why I'm trying so hard for this friendship. It just seems like we have nothing in common. And it really isn't fair to her that I get so judgemental with her sometimes.


I'm just in a mood. And her fantasy world always gets on my nerves when I'm stressed.


-------------------------------------

The kids did great with Jayne. Her husband doesn't have kids, but loves babies, so he had a blast. Jayne said he took Jason out on the balcony and it was just the boys outside. Jason loved looking around outside she said. Jayne's daughter had her wisdom teeth out earlier in the day, so Jayne and Rea stayed inside and took care of her. And apparently Jason loved it when all the girls (some of the daughter's friends stopped by) talked to him. Apparently he was laughing and smiling at all the pretty girls.
Great. *laughs*

We've had a handful of 12 hour nights. Then last night they woke up once. But we're getting there and that makes me happy. The next step is taking them out of the swaddles. I'm going to wait and do that next week after I get some sleep sacks. I hope that will help them transition. Really J is fine without the swaddle. He comes out of it mostly before he's even asleep, but it keeps his legs warmer so I still use them.


--------------------------------------

I've been very clingy to John the past few days. (After I complain about Kourtney...) I've needed a few extra kisses before he leaves for work and a few more cuddles in bed. I love him so much. The twins have been really hard on our relationship and there were a few times when I wondered if we'd make it to the other side together. Now I feel silly for ever doubting. He's my soul-mate and I love him more than words could ever say. And I know he loves me the same.

But we need to get on the sex. It's been infrequent since the kids were born. Partly because we have babies and that always makes it harder, and partly because all that time apart has made sex more painful for me. But we've worked most of the kinks out now, so we need to get more regular.


---------------------------------------

Amanda (of Kyle & Amanda) didn't ovulate on her first round of Clomid. She's also taking Metformin. I really thought it would work for her. (Why? It didn't for me!) I hate to see a friend going through this. And you'd think I'd be better at the comfort part, but I find myself at a loss for words. I just want to gather her up and make it better.

I also wanted her to get pregnant with twins on the Clomid. (Okay. I still want her to have twins- Clomid or not!)

Infertility Sucks!!!

-------------------------------------


I miss being pregnant.


--------------------------------------


I need to find a job soon.



But for now I'm going to go sit on my ass and wait for John to get home. (And then jump him...)



Gina

Job Details

Well, I went to the interview today.
And I still have very mixed feelings about this.

I wasn't offered the job yet (still more to interview), but know that I could do it with no problems.

My main concerns before the interview are still my main concerns. The hours will be challenging and the pay is not what I'd hoped for. But the title is good and there is potential for advancement with other companies just from the title alone. (Assistant Manager)

The hours:
It's a rotating shift. 4 months day shift, 4 months swing shift, 4 months graveyard. Days is 6am-2pm. Swing is 2pm-10pm. And Grave is 10pm-6am. And there would be 4 months of some weird split shift for covering days off.

It would mean hiring someone to come keep the kids in our house. (I wouldn't do a traditional day care for just 4 months and mess their routine up.) But for the months on day and grave shifts this cost would be minimum, which would be nice. (John works 4pm-Midnight-ish.) Also, it would be pretty set hours. Very rare to work over your shift.

The money:
Not gutter crap, but maybe sidewalk crap. I don't know. It would cover gas and child care and there would be a medium size bit leftover. (Depending I guess on the shift for that quarter.)


The pros:
Back in the hotel world, which I generally find fun. Also, while every system is property specific, they use LMS which I'm very familiar with. (Don't know if they are green screen or web-based though.)


I guess right now I'm leaning to NO. I'd like some time to see if something better comes along. But maybe if nothing does, we could make it work. What really gets me is the rotating shifts. I really hate that idea. Mostly because I hate the idea of overnight shifts.

I just don't know. I hate all this job crap. I wish it were more money. It might be a lot more worth it for more money.

------------------------------------------

In other news, I'm going out Friday night! wOOt!!

I'm going to see Sex and the City. One of my nurses is keeping the kids. I'm so excited! I'm not sure which show time we're going to yet. (I'll let Jayne- my nurse- tell me which would be best for her since she'll have the kids.) But if we go to the 8:30pm show then we may have a drink before the show.
(I've never had a martini. And I want one. Only I hate gin, so it'll be a vodka martini. With a twist.)

This will be the second time I've left the kids with someone. And it'll be the second time that they sounded truly excited about it.

And look at me! Asking for help twice in one month! Progress, baby, progress.

On that note, John just returned home with our Chunky Monkey.


Gina

Broken Friendship

It's been a long time coming. (Well, almost six months.) But it was a friendship I could not condone anymore. It had to come to an end.

So many reasons why it had to come to an end.
It wasn't natural.


I've thought about all the ways to end it for a while. There were so many options and it really needed to be the right one, ya know? There were traditional routes. There were new, edgier routes.

There would be a lot (for me) invested into the ending of this friendship so I didn't make the choice lightly.






I made it sexy.







Very Sexy to be exact.


My boobs and belly button are no longer friends, I'm very happy to report.
Today I became the proud owner of a Very Sexy bra from Victoria's Secret.


I LOVE it. I vaguely remember a time when my boobs were this high all on their own! (Somewhere around the time I went from a C to D, if memory serves. I went to a DD about 6 years ago. So it's been a long time.) And it gets all that boob from under your arm and puts it with the rest of your boob! And they are all high and perky looking. My nipples look ahead to the future now.


I was always told that because I was 'heavy chested' that I need a full coverage bra. A bra with a hundred hooks for support. (A.K.A.- the Granny Bra) I listened to this for far too many years once I surpassed that 'C' marker. 18 Hour here I come! That was me.

Well, frankly, I was sick to death of having torpedo boobs rather than nice rounded boobs.

Don't get me wrong- I've braved the world of push-up before for a few certain shirts or dresses. But those were not every day bras. Those were 'special occasion' bras.


Now I have an everyday bra that I'm not embarrassed of!


I love my boobs in this bra. As soon as I can, I'll be buying at least 2 more. (I bought it in black. Now I'll need a white and a nude one.)


Yay Very Sexy Boobs!!!!


Gina

More Details

I’m going to try this in Word and then copy/paste. I’m still pissed that the entry from before is invisible. (Or most of it anyway.)


Okay, so the details…

I got called back for the assistant front office manager position at a casino. (Not the one I worked at before and the one John still works at.) The manager is the one who called and she did seem nice.

I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, we really need me to go back to work because of money issues. (The sale of the condo was the reason we could afford for me to stay home a few years. The condo, as we know, has not sold.) On the other hand, at this point it has to be worth it for me to go back to work. Meaning child care costs and gas to and from work. Obviously we can’t afford for me to go to work if it doesn’t cover these expenses plus bring in a bit extra.

I’m excited that I was ‘worthy’ enough for an interview. That makes me feel good. I think I’m excited at the prospect of going back into the world. I think I miss working.
But it did bring on tears at the thought of leaving my babies. It’s really hard to think about.

In a perfect world I would find a part-time job that paid through the nose and I’d only be away from the kids a little. I don’t think or really expect that to happen.


There are a lot of things to consider though- the hours, the flexibility (especially when kids get sick), days off, and the money.

I’m cautiously excited right now with a dab/touch of resentment that I’m in this place (having to look and think of work) to begin with.


That being said, I’m beginning to realize that it may be a very good thing indeed that kids are introduced to some form of child care now. (Not sure if we’d do a nanny or a child care center right now- depends on money and schedules.) Rea freaks out with other people. She’s not even 6 months old and has stranger/separation anxiety. No one else can feed them right now. I don’t think this is a great path for us to be heading down.

And I also realize that by working it would give me a break and in turn make me a better mommy.


I don’t know. I really have very (very) mixed feelings about it all. At this point I’ll just try not to over think everything. Go to the interview and get the information and then John and I can talk everything over and go from there.




Gina

Waking Up

Today has been a day for sure. It started last night when Frog woke up at 3am. Much earlier than normal, so I knew that it was going to be a 2 bottle night. Ugh. I know I shouldn't get frustrated, but I do. Especially since Monday night they went 12 hours with no wake-ups. I know they can do it. I know once should be enough. But Frog just can not (will not) settle himself down. He has to have a bottle to go back to sleep.


He has one or two more months of this left and then he'll just have to figure it out himself. (I will not be like Leah Remini with a 3 year-old who wakes 10+ times a night for a bottle.)

They are also on another nap strike. Naps have been much shorter than normal lately. I hear them 'talking' on the monitor and go up there and both are usually playing with their blankets or hands or feet. (I have to hang blankets around Frog's crib where his head is. Otherwise he'll just lay there and look around. Usually when he wakes up he yanks them down and starts chewing on them.)


The best news is that I finally found some size 3 Huggies Overnights. I hope they work! (And I realized that if they go all night with no wake-ups, he doesn't pee through.)


We actually went out to eat with them tonight (Logan's- so plenty noisy to cover fussy babies if need be) and they did pretty good. I think we're at the point where we can get them highchairs and let them look around. He's much happier if he doesn't feel confined and can see all around him.


We're also on the brink of getting their big car seats. On one hand I'm glad because carrying them in the infant seats is getting to be too much. But then getting them in and out of the house will be a huge pain in the ass now. I guess I'll use the stroller back and forth. (We don't have a garage.)


We bought their swimsuits yesterday. (Children's Place on sale! Hers was $8 and his was $7. Score!)


And I've been applying for jobs like crazy today. Two assistant front office manager jobs with different hotels. I do think I'd enjoy being back in the hotel business. One is downtown and I think that would be fun. It's a fairly large hotel too. (The other is at one of the casino. Yes, even though I said I was done with the gaming industry.)


There really was more I wanted to say. Can't think of it now though.



Gina

Tonight

Tonight was fantastic. There was incredible food to be had, much conversation, and probably too much wine. But I needed it and it was amazing.


The kids did fine. Rose actually thanked us for letting her keep them! (Though she did say she wasn't speaking to Jason because 'he's so rotten' and just wanted to look around when he should have been sleeping. Said, mind you, as she's kissing his face. *smiles* That's J.)



It's just after midnight. I'm going to change out of my new pretty (size medium) dress and wash my face. I'm going to crawl into bed (a little earlier than normal for me) and fall into a blissful sleep.



Tonight was great.


Gina

Medium

I just bought a dress in medium!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!


*puts down the tub of ice cream*



I'm so excited! I'm still not skinny by any means, and I've put back on some of the weight I've lost (about 5-10lbs), but in at least one dress style I can wear a medium! (That dress style would be a flowy empire waist and stretch fabric, but a medium is a medium is a medium.)


We're going out to dinner tomorrow to a very fancy place and I've been trying on things in my closet since last night. I thought a few things might work, but they look big and just not right. I decided that today was too beautiful to stay inside so the babes and I went out and about. I went to Kohl's because I've been looking for a pair of blue jean shorts for Frog. I found a cute pair for Silly at Wal-Mart but the smallest size they had in boy's was 12mth. (And the 'girl' pair have ruffled hems. If they were plain I would have bought him the same pair.) Well, they had the shorts for Frog, and the kids were still being very pleasant and happy to look around, so I skipped on over to the ladies section. They had a sale rack and I made a bee line for it. I ended up trying on 3 dresses (thank God for the handicap changing room- the stroller fit no problem) and picked the one I did partly because it was a size medium, but mostly because of the print. (Black with ivory circles all over.) I just thought that since that is now the 1 dressy thing I have it should be versatile. The other was black with large turquoise flowers all over.
(I just checked the website to see if I could post a picture and they don't have it on there. Oh well.)



Just one more time- Yay medium! Ok.




Daisy is gone to my parents' house. It was fun seeing them this afternoon. And I know Daisy will have a blast with my mom. And it gives Mom someone to take care of and spend the day with.



I thought there was more, but my mind is stuck in medium. Ha!


Gina

2 Years, 8 Months, 2 Weeks, and 2 Days

You know, it's odd sometimes. It's been almost 3 years since the hurricane. (2 years, 8 months, 2 weeks & 2 days.) But I still find things that are gone.
Tonight it was a movie. I know I had it. I went to watch it and it's gone. Then I really looked at our movie collection and realized that most all of our movies are gone. We were able to salvage a few of our DVDs, but only a handful of the ones we had.
It's weird to me. Sometimes I forget that all we have is a replacement of something lost or something new all together.

My books for example. None of the books that I have now are from before the hurricane. Except one. It was the one I packed when we left. But I spent a very long time replacing those books. I still have the picture I took of my bookcase (for inventory before a different hurricane) and at first I'd zoom in on that picture to cross check that I was replacing everything. I still have a few to get.

I'm always very thankful that we took all of our pictures and the computer (which means all digital pictures as well) but I still get sad when I remember something that's gone.


And it still happens a lot.
A week or so ago it was a shirt. Before that I think it was a pair of flip flops. It happens a lot with clothes and shoes. The only 'old' clothes I have are the clothes I packed before we left.



I don't go through the house in my mind as much. I've forgotten a lot actually. For a long time, I would remember what was in each drawer, in each closet, in each cabinet. I've forgotten most of the kitchen now. It's like memories slipping away.
I never want to forget my little house.


And I think that's why my fear of storms (tornadoes) has gotten worse since being up here. I'm so afraid of losing everything again. I just can't think of it.


Since the hurricane John tries to throw out as much as possible. He doesn't want to keep things. I find myself doing the exact opposite. I want to keep everything. And I usually try to stuff as much as possible in our safe when storms are coming through.

The hospital braclets. (Both from bed rest and delivery.) Their baby hats with 'A' and 'B' on them.


This isn't my home. My home was destroyed. My things were destroyed. And while I know they were just things, I miss them.
And I'm so scared of it happening again.

Wrong Genre

I've been feeling so blah today. I really haven't wanted to anything except stay in bed with a book.


Of course I didn't do that. Babies don't entertain themselves for very long. (Or at least mine don't.)
(Teething has quickly turned bad.)


Last night I watched P.S. I Love You, which for the record is billed as a romantic comedy. No. It's not. It's a tearjerker from the word go. I cried more in that movie than I have for any movie in a very long time. Mostly because I know I'm still slightly hormonal and I stay away from movies that make you cry.
(For what it's worth, the movie was good.)



Momma and Daddy are coming to visit Friday. I'm really excited about that. They haven't seen the kids in a few weeks, plus I'm sending Daisy home with them. (She needs come Crazy Nana time.) She's been in trouble pretty much all day. Her tail is going to stay tucked between her legs at the rate she's going. Her first offense was stealing toilet paper from the bathroom and shreading it everywhere. Then John sat his plate down on the end table for just a second and she stole a chip off of it. There was another toilet paper incident. This has been all day. And I know it's been because neither of us have felt like playing much today, but she should still know better. (And it's not like we never play. We play a lot.) So she'll go get lots of attention from my parents and come home completely spoiled and worn out. This works well for us. (Plus my parents get a real kick out of her.)


It's confirmed that we have a babysitter on Saturday night. Rose is going to watch the kids while John and I go out to diner with Kyle and Amanda. I'm so excited and so nervous all at the same time. I know they've been so cranky lately that I don't want them to just meltdown for Rose. Of course, I'll send them with Tylenol and teething tablets, but they still get cranky. Rea's been super clingy. Jay's just been very screamy. I did warn her though. And she seemed really excited to watch them. (Even after I warned of the teething.)
I was so nervous about calling her. I know she said that she wanted to babysit them, but I really do have a very (very) hard time asking for things. It was a huge weight lifted when she joked, "Can I come get them right now?" But she really did seem excited. Yay.

(On a side note- I wonder if it will ever get easier for me to ask others for help. At this rate, very doubtful.)

I really am looking forward to Saturday though. We're going to a super nice place and I just can't wait. I've decided since Rose won't let us doing anything for her for watching the kids, I'm going to order dessert and bring it back for her.


It's supposed to rain all day tomorrow. I'd love to have a nanny for the day so that I could just stay in bed and read all day long. (Or I'm ready for kids who'll like rainy days where you stay in your pajama's all day and watch movies.)



There was more I was going to say, but for life of me I can't remember. And John's grumbling from the kitchen so I better go see what's crawled up his butt.


Gina