2 Years, 8 Months, 2 Weeks, and 2 Days

You know, it's odd sometimes. It's been almost 3 years since the hurricane. (2 years, 8 months, 2 weeks & 2 days.) But I still find things that are gone.
Tonight it was a movie. I know I had it. I went to watch it and it's gone. Then I really looked at our movie collection and realized that most all of our movies are gone. We were able to salvage a few of our DVDs, but only a handful of the ones we had.
It's weird to me. Sometimes I forget that all we have is a replacement of something lost or something new all together.

My books for example. None of the books that I have now are from before the hurricane. Except one. It was the one I packed when we left. But I spent a very long time replacing those books. I still have the picture I took of my bookcase (for inventory before a different hurricane) and at first I'd zoom in on that picture to cross check that I was replacing everything. I still have a few to get.

I'm always very thankful that we took all of our pictures and the computer (which means all digital pictures as well) but I still get sad when I remember something that's gone.


And it still happens a lot.
A week or so ago it was a shirt. Before that I think it was a pair of flip flops. It happens a lot with clothes and shoes. The only 'old' clothes I have are the clothes I packed before we left.



I don't go through the house in my mind as much. I've forgotten a lot actually. For a long time, I would remember what was in each drawer, in each closet, in each cabinet. I've forgotten most of the kitchen now. It's like memories slipping away.
I never want to forget my little house.


And I think that's why my fear of storms (tornadoes) has gotten worse since being up here. I'm so afraid of losing everything again. I just can't think of it.


Since the hurricane John tries to throw out as much as possible. He doesn't want to keep things. I find myself doing the exact opposite. I want to keep everything. And I usually try to stuff as much as possible in our safe when storms are coming through.

The hospital braclets. (Both from bed rest and delivery.) Their baby hats with 'A' and 'B' on them.


This isn't my home. My home was destroyed. My things were destroyed. And while I know they were just things, I miss them.
And I'm so scared of it happening again.