For Sale or Will Trade

Have I got a deal for you!

I've got two, slightly used, babies. They crawl! They babble! They hold their own bottle! They eat puffs! They love bananas! (Some restrictions apply.*)

If you place your order in the next 5 minutes, you can get both for a one time low price of $19.99*. That's over a $10,000 dollar value! All for just $19.99**.


BUT WAIT!!!!


Don't want to spend any money? That's fine! I've still got a deal for you! The first person to place their order can trade QUIET TIME*** for these two of kind babies. That's right! Quiet time.


Just call 1-800-MY-BABIES-ARE-DRIVING-ME CRAZY or log onto mybabiesaredrivingmecrazy.com now!


*Happiness of babies can not be guaranteed. No exchanges until babies are potty-trained and no longer teething. No exceptions. Not liable for amount of poop or vomit from babies.

**Price includes all toys and on-hand diapers. Price does not include Zoloft, Lexapro, or similar drugs.

***Babies should be several thousand miles away for proper Quiet Time. Quiet time should be a poop/vomit/teething free area.



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Apparently J is getting a molar. Or twelve. He's miserable. I'm miserable.
And as if that weren't fun enough, The Drama Queen is getting her third tooth.


And I'd like to run away. Somewhere warm and tropical. With a tall, dark, well-muscled man for me to look at and to bring me drinks. There needs to be free-flowing alcohol.


That is all.


Gina