5 Pints

5 pints make everything better.


Especially when they are Chunky Monkey, Imagine Whirled Peace, Black Walnut, Buttered Pecan, and Rocky Road. I spent almost $20 on ice cream.
But as John and I stood at the kitchen bar and ate from 5 open containers of ice cream all problems melted away.


Today was a Good Day Indeed. First we woke early because John had an appointment to get his vision checked at 9am. He got home just before it was time to wake the kids at 11am. He'll go back to pick out his new frames in June. But there was little change in his vision and his lazy eye is stronger. Yay for eye exercises that actually worked! (The only time I can see the lazy in his eye is when he's very tired and not wearing his glasses.)
Not long after that it was time for me to shower and get ready for my eye appointment. I wasn't getting my vision checked though. The last 2 times I've gone the pressure in my eyes has been higher than it should. So they suggested that I get it checked every 3 months. (My Grandmother had glaucoma, so this is something I'm very worried about.) Well, my appointment was for 2pm. I finally got called about around 3:30. Did a few tests then they had to dilate my eyes so I had more waiting. I finally left around 4:30. BUT! My pressure is down and in normal ranges. My eyes (the insides) looked great and I don't have to go back for a year! Yay! (But I'm going to make a point of wearing my glasses more.)


Then we had some dinner/lunch and we both napped with the kids as they took their second nap. When they woke up we went to see our nurses! Yay! (I love going to see them.) They loved on the babies who didn't freak out. And I found out that they may have a secertary job opening in the antepartum unit. It would be from 3pm-11pm, so I'd get to work 4 hours with the day nurses and 4 hours with the night nurses. I would LOVE that. It would a fairly easy job too. If I had different days off from John we'd only need a nanny for 3 nights a week. I think, if the pay's right, we could do that! I'm so excited! I'll use my nurses as references too. I would love that. Seriously. I'll keep an eye on their job board and apply as soon as I see it posted.

Also, the hospital is opening a new Women's Hospital and the nurses are putting our names down to be at the ground breaking ceremony. How cool would that be?!


After the hospital we came home and did our bath and bed routine with the kids. After they were down, I went out for our 5 pints.


And here I am. But now I'm going because I'm tired and we have another 'early' morning tomorrow. Granddaddy is coming to see the babies!


(Spelling not checked. Sorry. And I'm not wearing my glasses. Hope it's not too bad!)


Gina

No Charms

John and I had a huge fight this morning. The kids having been screaming most of the day.

I'd like to cash in my free pass to somewhere warm and beautiful. There will be some very tall, very tan, very manly man waiting for me. He'll have a drink waiting me as well. There will be no babies. No husband. Just me. Mr. Hunk. The water. The sand.

There will be ice cream. Actually a chocolate strawberry milkshake.
And a nice bowl of Lucky Charms.


Can't I please run away for just a little while? I'll come back.

Probably.



I need to go grocery shopping but I can't because John took my car to work. It has the car seat bases. Ugh. (They work without bases, but it's easier and I think more secure.)


I'm on my period. I hate my period. I'm tired and cranky. And I know our big fight was mostly my fault. I did try to say sorry, but John was still being an ass. That's his fault and now he can bite my ass.

We are out of milk. No Lucky Charms tonight. I think that's the saddest thing of all.


At least I have Jon & Kate Plus Eight tonight. (It's the only thing I make a point of sitting down to watch on TV. I love them.)


Ignore me. I'm just one big bleeding hormone.

Gina

Just Freakin' Dandy

I'm so pissed.

I just ended an auction on ebay that I had going. I made a deal with the highest bidder to sell for $120. (My breast pump that goes for about $275.) Well my first goof was that I somehow set the reserve for $150, but then when I went back to revise something else, it deleted the reserve price. So yeah. So I make this deal and go to end the item early. I thought the bidder had already put in the $120. She hadn't. So I just sold a $200+ breat pump for $50. Yay me.

I'm so pissed.

I was going to buy my new stroller with that money. We can't afford it without the money. This is just freaking dandy. And really I have no one to be mad at but myself. I am indeed stupid.


I'm so pissed. I just can't say that enough. I was counting on that money for the stroller.


And yes, I know it was my own fault- no need to repeat it.
And no one is bidding on my other auctions. I should have just sold the stupid shit with a consignment sale.



This is just the freaking cherry on top of a very craptastic day.


And she's going to turn around and sell it for more. I just researched her. Great. Just fukcing great.




---------------------------------------------


Well. Okay. Small (grand) freak out over not much. In the end he (not a she!) showed me how to add a charge to make the total $120. I still feel like I could have probably gotten more, closer or more than the $150 I wanted, but I'm also glad to have it sold and not for less. (I'm still kicking my ass for not re-checking that the reserve price was set.
It is for the bouncer. Thank goodness. I'll still be short though. I was really counting on the pump being $150 and then the bouncer is set for $25 (retails for $50 and we hardly used the thing). Now I'll get $145 for both. The stroller I want (new) is $200. I do hope to find a nice used one, but we'll see.

Once we get the kids in the bigger car seats, I'll sell both infant seats plus their bases and the Duo Glider. All that for hopefully $200 or $250. But of course I can't sell that until I get a new stroller. And I'll do that at the twin sale just because I don't want to ship a beast of a stroller. (Or I'll possibly use Craig's list or do local pick-up.)


Anyway. I'm going through the house now looking for stuff to sell. Ha. If Callie doesn't stop annoying me, I may sell her.


Lesson learned. Pay more attention when selling shit on Ebay.



Gina

Squeeze with Love

Today was such a beautiful day!

Me and the babes went out to the grocery store. I decided that I didn't feel like pushing one buggy while pulling another (usually the babies are in one buggy in their carriers and the groceries in the other) so I strapped on my carrier and toted Jay. I think he really liked it.

And let me tell ya...took me almost 2 hours! I was stopped soooooo many times today. There were a lot of older people out and that was part of it. (Older people just love to stop and look at any babies, much less a two for one.) But I don't think I'll have to shop next week, except for maybe milk or little things like that.


Rea is back to being completely swaddled. I got tired of going up the stairs 5 thousand times to reinsert her paci. I know. I'll have to one day. And what kills me is that she'll suck her fingers when she's awake now. Used to she had to have her paci all the time. Now she'll happily slurp on fingers while playing. (It's cute to see her 'talk' around her fingers.) Why can't she do that to sleep?! (Which I know would be harder to break. I'm just being lazy. Hush.)


I laughed so hard today when I went to get them after their first nap. Jay had pulled free of his swaddle (easier now with his one arm starting out of it) and flipped on his belly, scooted to the middle of the crib, and was a grinning drooling baby when I went up there. He was so funny with his head up and legs up. It looked like he was trying to fly. Or swim. He's going to be a mess in a few months. I need to start exercising so I'll be able to keep up!

And then there's my sweet little Rea. She's so happy to sit and watch the world go by. She just lights up now when I go get them. It's the best thing in the world. She laughs and smiles and it's just too damn cute. She scrunches her whole face when she laughs or smiles really big. It kills me. She smiles with her entire face. I love it.

I'm starting to enjoy them more now that they are moving past the baby blob phase. I don't want to wish their baby-ness away, but I can't wait to hear them. To see who they'll be. They are so different and so much the same.


Watching them eat is so much fun. They are both getting better day by day. Rea would do much better if she didn't try to talk with food in her mouth. Or if she didn't laugh with food in her mouth. I'm glad we're getting these things on video.
Jay is like a little bird. By the time it's his turn again (I do a bite for one then the other and we go back and forth like that) his little mouth is open and he's waving his arms all around.
They crack me up sometimes.

Rea's laugh is so contagious. Seriously. I hear her and can't help but laugh too. Which never fails to crack her up more. And there we sit, mom and daughter just laughing at each other.


Sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed with the love I feel for them. I just want to squeeze them tight and never let go. And sometimes I just can't stop kissing them. I knew I would love them. I loved them before they were born. Then I saw them. I can't imagine how I could ever love them more, but then I wake up the next day and I do.


I am so blessed to have them as my children. Them. They were meant for me and me for them. I'm honored to be their mother.



This turned out much different from what I started with. That's okay.


Gina

One Armed Bandits

Today is the first day of Project Free Babies.
For all of their naps today the babies have had one arm (their left) out of the swaddle blankets! So far things have gone well. Rea, of course, keeps yanking her paci out, but I go up once every half hour to reinsert. She either fusses (not cries) that whole time or she'll fuss for a few minutes and then suck her hand until she goes to sleep.


Jay is getting to be a master roller- both back to front and front to back- and this has caused some concern. He flip flops around so much that I'm nervous about his arms being swaddled. So far this generally only happens when he's throwing a sleep fight fit, and we check him a lot, but it's still a concern. The down side to being free is that the times he does free himself, I'll go up there and he's got arms and legs hanging through the slats. I don't think it hurts me, it just looks bad to the momma!

Also, once they are freed, I'll start letting them have loveys in the bed with them.



In other news, I applied for two jobs today.

Money is starting to get tight with prices all around us going up, up, up. But I'm not going to settle and it would need to be worth it for the kids to be in a development center. And I would have to find a place that I would feel comfy with being there.

That said, the two jobs I applied for are the same position at the same company, just different locations. And it would be the first time in a long time that I'd be using my degree and education.

*Side note* I've had a few new readers lately, and it's something I generally never mention, so long time readers may not know either, but I have a BS in Child & Family Studies with an emphasis in child development. Because I am super picky about 'day care' centers, I haven't chosen to work in the field since right after college.

The position is for Asst. Program Director for two different local 'chain' development centers.

I've heard good and bad about the centers, so I'm going in very leery. Also, both positions have been posted for almost two months so I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

The 'Pro's' would be the chance to start a career with something love and the chance for advancement. It would give the kids the chance to learn their social skills starting early. I would get a huge discount for them as well. Oh, yeah, and then there's the fact we'd have more money.

The 'Con's' are that it would be a traditional schedule working Mon-Fri on days, while John still works 'swing' (or second shift to some) and is off on Tues/Wed. We'd see little of each other.


I won't do it if I don't feel 100% about the center or if the money isn't right. And I won't do it if they want be to be asst. direction and lead teacher. No way. I'll basically be a single mother at that point and will not need the extra work load. And I won't do it unless the kids will be at the same center as I work.

I don't even know if they'll call me for an interview, so who knows. But it has to be worth it.


I've looked into some work at home deals; my biggest problem is having dedicated office times. The only time I could really do anything like that would be after the kids go down for the night. Right now that's late.


We'll just see I guess. I just don't want to struggle. I don't want to put ourselves in a situation where we can't do things with and for the kids because we are so freaking broke. I don't want to put our savings in jepardy. And the prices are just going up and who knows when it'll even out.


Anyway. I guess let's just see if I even get a call about it.



Gina

Mommy's Little Helper

I went for my annual pap today.

I'd decided to see one of the women in the practice just because. And now I'm so glad I did. It started out just fine enough. Then she asked how the twins were (she remembered me from being in the hospital for so long) and then asked how I was adjusting and how much help I get, etc. That's when I started crying. For no reason really. The water works just started flowing.


I ended up bringing home some nice new shiny boxes of Lexapro. She's concerned about PPD. (Which I've know but was trying to handle on my own. Didn't work out so well.)

I knew things were getting worse when I burst into tears about the Biggest Loser commercial the other day. I've never watched this show. Yeah. I've just been crying about everything lately. It's getting old too, because I really hate crying.

But she was very understanding. She really hit the nail on the head with a few things without me even having to go into detail.

So, yay drugs! Or something...


The kids are well. They are still not sure about the rice cereal. I added some banana in it and I think it tastes a little better, but they still are a bit unsure. Jay is doing much better than Rea. And he's self cleaning which is nice too!
The bibs are a new thing to them. I haven't put bibs on them very often, so he loves to play with it. Well, the first thing he does is try to stuff it in his mouth, and in the process cleans off all the leftovers hanging out around there. Kinda nice, but I know it won't last. 10 years from now I'll be nagging about cleaning his room. Oh well.



Well, they are up from their last nap. And John and I have a movie (and wine!!!!) for later. Yay.
(I'm into trying new wines lately...Polka Dot is a German Riesling and very yummy and cheap to boot! Go! Try!)


Gina

Waiting for the Whirling

Ok, so I stressed myself out so much last night for this super bad tornado outbreak they were predicting for today. Now they are saying it won't be as bad as they thought. Oops. Sorry.

Sorry?! Sorry you say??!!

Well, sorry doesn't reverse the gut wrenching fear I was in all night just thinking about the horror of my house being flung into the next county.
But thanks anyway.


With that being said, I don't trust them. I'm still on guard for things to rapidly deteriorate and be in my hiding hole closet at a moment's notice.

John decided not to go to work today. (He decided this late last night before they changed their minds on the severity of the storms.) I felt bad, but I think he really just wanted to play hooky anyway.

He's currently out getting me a half strawberry half chocolate milkshake. I need it for my nerves, you see.



I didn't really go into last night, but I really can't say enough good things about our ped. Dr. Bubba is just the very best. I'm so glad that we decided on him. He makes me realize that I tend to overt hink things sometimes. He's very good at reminding me that there is no perfect formula to raising kids. And it's okay.
He's very happy with their schedule and said we should be too. He said that if Jason needs to fuss for a few minutes to get to sleep then that's okay. But if I'm not comfortable with that, then that's okay too. (But I am now. I've realized that my going in there 15643518 times just keeps him upset for longer. And when I hold him to rock him, he's trying too hard to see all around to be comforted to sleep. And now he really only fusses until I get to door. Then he's quiet and goes to sleep.)

Last night was the third time they went 12 hours. But I expected it because the last time they got shots they slept very well that night. I did end up giving them another dose of Tylenol before bed too. (Last time they only got the one dose at the doctor's office.)

But I was a tad bit worried about having them on a weird schedule- going to bed between 10pm-11pm and sleeping until 11am.) But he said they were born into our family, not the other way around. They are fine. As long as they get enough sleep (and we do too!) then they are fine. And he said that since both John and I tend to be nightowls anyway, they probably will be too.

It's nice because I know that for the next day or two, I will feel comfortable in this Mommy Role that I'm in now. By the third day I'll read/see/hear something that will convince me that I'm screwing them up beyond repair. Rinse and repeat.

But you know, when I go get them up now, they smile when they see me. How about that for melting all sorts of heart parts? Seriously. And when I'm dancing around acting stupid and they just sit there and smile and laugh? God, I'd do it all day just for the sound of those giggles. Just talking to Rea now brings on huge drooly smiles and giggles. She'll even bring her hands up to her face and tilt her face just so while laughing. It just kills me every time. (I would love to capture this with the camera, but the minute they see it they freeze with their, "What's that?!" look. Much like the look they give almost anyone who is not either me or John.)

I really love this mommy stuff.

(Most days...)



On that note, my milkshake just got here!!


Gina

Conception

We have a busy day lined up today.

John just left to take Daisy to her puppy spa (a.k.a. the groomers...) in a different area of the city. He'll come home and we'll load the kids up and take them to the doctor in the middle of the city. I'm expecting their joint appt to last about an hour since we'll be getting shots today too. (On top of the millions of questions I have.) Once we leave there, it's back across to the groomers to pick up Miss Daisy. We leave there and it's clear across the city (completely opposite from our house) to Amanda and Kyle's for dinner and fun.

It's going to be a long day for the babies. I hope they don't melt down too bad. But at the last appt when they got their first shots, they slept very well so hopefully they'll do that again. I'll bring their swaddle blankets so napping will be easier for them once we get to AK's.

Last night I ran out and got myself a new cute pair of pants! They fit! I've still been wearing all sorts of big clothes since I've lost weight. The only pants I have that fit in the waist are my new jeans. Well, I bought the short size, but they are still a good 4 inches too long. Ugh. I hate being so short sometimes. (I'm exactly 5ft.)


So anyway, the point of this entry is to say that exactly one year ago I went in for the egg retrieval and that night in a darkened laboratory our little babies were conceived.

I don't remember all the exact numbers and don't feel like going to look them up (go back to this time last year and it's documented) but there were a total of 11 embryos made that night. Through natural selection we ended up with just a few excellent embryos for transfer. They picked the best two and we lost the rest. (By the day after the transfer the rest weren't good enough quality for freezing. Good thing my two stuck!)

Not exactly a 'bow-chick-a-wow-wow' moment, but we got our babies. Yay sperm and egg!


And yes, we do plan to be very honest in how they were conceived. And I plan to embarrass them forever with celebrating their 'conception birthday' every year. I'm sure they'll just love it when they're teens.



Gina

4 Month Stats

Today was a really good day.
We had the kids' 4th month check-up today and they are both doing great.

Here are the new stats:

Reagan: Height 24in
Weight 13lbs8oz
Head 39.25

Jason: Height 24.5in
Weight 12lbs15oz
Head 40

Reagan is in the 75th percentile for both height and weight. Jason is in the 75th for height and the 50th for weight. I was concerned because they still don't take more than 6oz in their bottle. (And usually it's closer to 5.) But Dr. Bubba said they are gaining weight and staying in the same percentiles since birth, so he's not concerned. We also got the green light for rice cereal.

They got some shots today and they screamed a lot more this time around. And it took them a little longer to calm down. But they took an extra long nap and I think woke up feeling better. (Plus the Tylenol had time to kick in.)

We went to Amanda and Kyle's for dinner and they did great. (Actually where most of that nap took place.) We were going to play games but then ran out of time.

Daisy looks great. They did a perfect cut on her this time. (Sometimes they leave her face and legs longer than I'd like.) She looks so adorable. And this will last for about 24 hours until she rolls in the grass or something.

Tomorrow is supposed to be super bad weather. I'm already having a small panic attack just thinking about it. John has to go to work and will be gone for when it's scheduled to hit. Amanda said I should come out to their house. But I don't know. I would feel better with others around me, but at the same time want to be at home. I would bring the cat and dog too. That's another level of stress about going. I just don't know what I should do.

Can I say how much I hate this weather? I really hate the severe season. Really. My gut hurts just thinking of it.

I better go watch the news again for the latest on the weather. And then I should go pack some bags just in case I do want to go.

Ugh.



Gina

Another Trip

Trip Around the Sun
~Jimmy Buffett

Hear 'em singing Happy Birthday
Better think about the wish I made
This year gone by ain't been a piece of cake
Every day's a revolution
Pull it together and it comes undone
Just one more candle and a trip around the sun

I'm just hanging on while this old world keeps spinning
And it's good to know it's out of my control
If there's one thing that I've learned from all this living
Is that it wouldn't change a thing if I let go

No, you never see it coming
Always wind up wondering where it went
Only time will tell if it was time well spent
It's another revelation
Celebrating what I should have done
With these souvenirs of my trip around the sun

I'm just hanging on while this old world keeps spinning
And it's good to know it's out of my control
If there's one thing that I've learned from all this living
Is that it wouldn't change a thing if I let go

Yes, I'll make a resolution
Then I'll never make another one
Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun
Just enjoy this ride ...
Until it's done

----------------------------------



So I posted the same song last year for my birthday. I just really like it. And it's my birthday so I can.

Today I am 28.
I still feel closer to 20 than I do 30.
But I'm not.

One would think having the husband, 2 kids, a mortgage, a dog and a cat would bring me closer to adulthood, but most days I still like I'm faking it.

No big plans for today. John has to go to the doctor. I'll hang with the babies.
(And he's in the 'dog house' because he didn't get me a card. Or anything. Now, I know we don't do big grand things around here, but a card would have been nice. I'm bringing it up every 5 minutes. Maybe next year he'll get a clue and get me a card.)



In other non birthday news...

My back hurts. No. I'm serious. It really hurts. Last night I just could not get comfortable in the bed. This morning I finally got comfy for a little bit.
I was on my stomach with my pillows under my hips and my head just flat on the bed.
Seriously.

Ouch.


Okay the weather is awesome and I will not just sit in this house all day, so I'm off to get the babies up for the day and party like it's my birthday.
Well, okay, that's probably extreme.
I'll revise...
I'll party like it's my birthday and I'm turning 88 instead of 28.

So, I'll watch some TV.

Maybe have a glass of wine later on.

Oh, yeah. I'm getting wild tonight! I may even have two glasses of wine!!



God.
I remember for my 19th birthday (the first birthday with John) we were trashed in a hotel room. We were having sex in the hot tub and I pulled the towel rack off the wall. I think between us we drank an entire bottle of very cheap vodka.


Ok. I take it back. Suddenly, I'm feeling very old.



Edit:
John just got back from going to pick up his meds and he brought me back flowers and a small cake! I know it's because there may have been a small amount of pouting earlier, but I still love it. The flowers smell great. And he really does love me, so I'll cut him a little slack.

Carry on...




Gina